upon departure

The oddest thing about departure is the knowing that there is no knowing if you will return; and if you shall not return. I still recollect as clear as a bell the day I packed and left Montevideo, all done in a hurry, before Leo and Sylvia arrived to pick me up and drive me to the airport with H. Jorge in the background. Jaime Roos playing. The kick of loss, stab of tears, but through a smile, through gratitude for all that I had been given; knowing that I knew not whether there was more, knowing only what had been, grieving its loss, refusing to foreclose on its future.

on what we choose to write

It may be that the blog has been created for a new generation of people/ writers. Those who do not choose at all. Who merely are/ write. Who see no difference between the two.

on pain and misunderstanding

The blog has in no way alleviated pain or reduced misunderstandings. If anything, on many occasions, it has exacerbated them. At times it may have been a crutch, but only upon rare occasions, I hope. It has also been, on rare occasions: a knee jerk reaction, a pleasure, a cry in the dark, an affirmation, a lifebelt, the only friend I felt I had at the time, a can opener, an albatross and a window.

Amongst other things.

A kind of home in a homeless year.

on bloggers

It may be that it order to discover whether one is innately a blogger or not, it is necessary to desist for a while. As with all the other things listed below in the section on blogging, and all the other things not listed below.

on trilogies

Perhaps it is a judeo-christian thing, perhaps it is not, but there is something curiously satisfying about trilogies.

on the mismaze

Just because I choose to cease documenting the contrails of the mismaze, does not mean to say that I have left it, or can ever hope to leave it. Although it might be something to hope for, one day.

on bloggging

Will it come to be seen in years to come that one is either a blogger or one is not? In much the same way as one either takes exercise, reads poetry, drinks beer, smokes fags, has children, believes in god, believes in marriage, believes in resurrection, has a chip on one’s shoulder, likes peas and so on and so forth – or one does not?